The War Inside My Womb

The past two days have been some of the hardest I have faced in a long time. Surgery on Tuesday pushed me to my limits, and recovery since then has been nothing short of brutal. The pain has been relentless, waking me in the night, leaving me shaking, exhausted, and raw. Every movement feels heavy, every breath a reminder of what my body has just been through. Even something as simple as going to the toilet feels like a mountain to climb.

But alongside the pain has come a flood of emotions I wasn’t prepared for. The dismissal, the waiting, the fear, all of it has caught up with me in these quiet recovery days. Hearing my surgeon confirm just how aggressive the regrowth was has left me both relieved and heartbroken. Relieved that it’s been found and removed. Heartbroken that my body had been carrying so much, so quickly, without anyone realising the extent of it.

Still, despite the agony and the tears, I know it was worth it. This was the biggest surgery I have ever had. It was long, it was hard, and it left me shaken, but it also gave me something priceless: a chance. A chance at less pain. A chance at more life. A chance to reclaim pieces of myself that endometriosis has stolen.

Recovery is not easy. It takes strength to walk this road, to fight through the sleepless nights, to swallow back the frustration and focus on the tiny steps forward. But I am trying. I am reminding myself that each painful moment is part of the healing process. Each tear is proof of just how much I have carried. And each day that passes brings me closer to feeling lighter, freer, more myself again.

And for the first time in a while, I am excited. Excited for what comes next. Excited to put in the work to give myself more time without a flare-up, more time without this agony, more time before I ever have to face another operating room again.

I am also excited to get back to work, to feel the rhythm and comfort of normal life again, and to rebuild the parts of me that this disease has tried to take away.

This is not the end of the battle. Endometriosis is lifelong. But right now, I am holding on to gratitude. Gratitude that the endo was removed. Gratitude for the care I have received. Gratitude for the hope that tomorrow might hurt a little less than today.

It has been painful. It has been emotional. It has been hard work. And it has all been worth it.